Heal Lift
Healing begins when you choose to take care of yourself and begin to self-love
Have you ever come across tales of ancient yogis practicing meditation or vipassana in the Himalayas? While the Why-s of their spiritual quest is deeply personal, the How-s are a perfect outcome of self-mastery. Don't get me wrong. You absolutely don't need to become a saint in order to hone the skill of self-mastery. Before we dig deeper into understanding the impact of self-mastery in our lives, let's try to look at the idea of what self-mastery actually is.
Discipline. Control. Will. Direction. Focus. Purpose. A multitude of words that are often referred to as synonymous to Self-mastery. Each of these acts as a building block in laying the foundation of self-mastery, and thus, cannot be just used interchangeably.
What exactly is Self-mastery?
Think of it as a balanced diet.
Weird? Let me explain.
What did you envision when I asked you to imagine a balanced diet? Probably, a blend of carbs, fats, preferred choice of protein, fruits, and vegetables. All in fixed proportions.
Self-mastery is when you are able to nurture a strong self-will that controls your desires thereby helping you stay focused and disciplined towards one or more goals that you have aimed at.
In the context of a balanced diet; say, your goal is to lead a healthy lifestyle free of ailments that have been bothering you for some time. And, you have been completely dedicated to eating balanced nutritious meals. But, what happens if you lack self-control? You might go overboard on portions. Or, remain inconsistent with your meal times. The outcome then will likely be counter productive. Self-Mastery is about learning all of what it takes for you to remain focused on eating balanced meals and not giving away to distractions to achieve a healthy lifestyle.
Why is there even a need to consider Self-Mastery?
Every time someone talks about the notion of self-mastery, we are often left questioning the need for it. And, rightly so. Why would we consider eating clean and healthy when a burger from McDonald's sounds more enticing? A healthy meal would also mean more work and who'd actually do it everyday when ordering in becomes more convenient?
Self Mastery is staying determined towards a certain direction irrespective of whatever is being thrown at you. The challenges could be physical, financial, emotional, or circumstantial. Self-Mastery is making a choice and training the mind to stay aligned with that choice by following it up with relevant action. Staying focused on healthy eating requires self-control, consistent effort and the will to not deviate. A burger gives you instant gratification but results in bloating and poor gut health overtime. You are also likely to feel hungry again in a shorter span of time. When you are exchanging that with a bowl of piping hot home cooked meal, you are signing up for a holistic healthy lifestyle that very much includes happiness and inner peace.
Enough about food. Let's talk about an athlete. Any athlete winning his game gathers immense applause. But what we don't realize is, it has taken them hours and years of practicing self-mastery towards their craft. Hundreds of failures that couldn't break their determination or consistency towards their goal. This automatically reminds me of the famous quote by ace former basketball player, Michael Jordan.
"I've missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. Twenty-six times I've been trusted to take the game-winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed." - Michael Jordan
Michael Jordan's resilience is a true testament of his self-mastery skills.
Success is no magic pill to be swallowed overnight. Success comes to those who are skilled in self-mastering their bodies and minds towards their goals.
Every human being experiences life in their own unique way. I might feel happy, content, and successful after securing a 9-5 job. You, on the other hand would rather want to be scaling your start-up in order to feel the same. This is why self-mastery isn't uniform. You and I cannot walk the same path to achieve the same feelings. Happiness, Inner peace, and Success are highly subjective. There's no single blueprint that can be followed. Even when the goal is exactly similar. A lot of people want to climb the summit of Mt. Everest, but how many actually can? It's not like you get a dream you are climbing a mountain, and you set for it the next day. There's a whole process of physical and mental training which my friend, is the skill of self-mastery. The result: Unbound happiness.
How is Self-mastery linked to Emotional Regulation?
I want to run a marathon but have never run a race in my life. I could start training, or simply give up on it because of fear. The human brain is likely to make emotional decisions because these emerge out as reactions. For example, the fear of failure was an immediate reaction to the idea of taking part in a marathon. Self-mastery comes into play when I am able to sit down with my emotions, accept them, and reflect based on rational thinking. Yes, I am afraid of failing but what if I don't? Or, what if I reconsider my goal to reach the finish line instead of having to 'win' it? Or, I could start running and leave mid-way if I am unable to continue.
How to Emotionally Regulate?
Understanding your Goals
Goals are largely subjective. While someone might want to reduce weight for their acting auditions, you might want to do so to remain fit. Trying to compete with someone else's goal will nullify your process of self-mastering. Hence, self-awareness and self-reflection are crucial.
Acknowledging Different Emotions
Feeling a range of emotions is absolutely valid. You were supposed to be attending an important event but it started raining heavily. While you have now booked a cab, the traffic is at peak. You find yourself consumed in anger, frustration, and disappointment. Accept the emotional upheaval but don't give way to breaking into an act out of impulsion.
Monitoring your Thought Patterns
A close friend got an offer letter for a job you had equally worked hard for while you didn't. You stand despised and can't seem to enjoy the company of this friend anymore. Time to monitor how your thought patterns have been negatively impacting the relationship.
Focusing on the Positives
When setting a goal or making a decision, our minds are more likely to be bogged down by negative realities. It then becomes imperative to consciously hand-hold our minds in focussing on the positive resources. When thinking of joining a gym, you might back out considering it is expensive or you require a particular brand's athleisure. Instead, you could just start working out at home itself wearing your loose clothes, and once you have saved enough, a gym membership could be easily purchased.
Conventional success is not the best parameter to judge self-mastery. An employee might be killing at his job but feeling absolutely hollow within. A good salary hike, a luxury car, and branded clothes will easily grab everyone's attention but not the absence of happiness and inner peace. This is why Self-mastery is the secret sauce in leading a fulfilling life. Becoming self-aware about one's needs, learning about one's capabilities, focusing on the desired goal and deciding to walk the path to achieve the goal without getting carried away by hindrances is all about self-mastery. You cannot avoid hindrances. You learn to overcome them.
Self-mastery helps your mind, body, heart, and soul to come into alignment. It builds perseverance, and boosts self-esteem. You learn to live life in the present. You get to discover insights about your own self.
You can choose to become a saint or a stunt artist. Self-Mastery doesn't make a bias. It is for everyone who wants to be, feel, and live an enlightened life.
When I am not writing, I am definitely overthinking! : )
